


Running Circles

by crusdrabbles



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Multi, Spoilers, canon compliant fix it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 13:50:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17868440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crusdrabbles/pseuds/crusdrabbles
Summary: Maybe one day they'll stop chasing each other in circles. Maybe one day they'll remain safely in each other's arms.





	Running Circles

“I want to go.”

Kairi sounds small, and sad. She’s been on the verge of tears for days, but she's steadfastedly brushing her emotions aside in the chaos of loss and confusion. Riku turns away from loading the gummi ship in time to see her wipe another stray from her cheek - a vain attempt not to let it steal the show from the determination in her eyes.

Riku sighs, and effort to mask his one trembling lip at the sight of her in pain.

“I’m sorry.” He says, and the tears in Kairi’s eyes well higher, threatening to overflow.

“I need to go.” She tries again. Riku shakes his head. The tears finally fall. “I said I would keep him safe - “

Riku cuts her off with a hug; he’s awkward and stiff, but she welcomes it all the same. She wraps arms around his middle and presses her face into his chest, muffling her occasional hiccup. Riku doesn’t know what to tell her, or how to help; he’d forgotten how to be affectionate and comforting in his time alone, and Kairi was more foreign to him now than ever.

“I’m a Guardian, too.” Comes a muffled sob. Riku sucks in his own careful, shaky breath. He doesn’t know what to do with blame he’s assigned to her, along with himself and everyone else.

“I can’t bring you with me.” Riku tells her gently, when the sniffling and hiccups subside and his shirt is damp. “He needed you here.” That he refers to Sora’s desires in past tense is not lost on either of them; it’s hard not slip up.

Riku wishes they hadn’t stood back, wishes that they had all just run to greet him the moment he appeared; they had barely noticed his return before watching him fade away. Riku still wasn’t certain he was there at all; Kairi wasn’t either.

“He needs for us to be _together_.” Kairi argues “If you go, and I’m alone...”

 _Then it was for nothing_ remains unsaid, but hangs heavily in the air around them. Riku chews on his lip, and Kairi finally begins to pull away from his embrace.

“I can take you to Twilight Town,” he offers in concession, “Axel and the others will keep you safe.”

“You just don’t want me around.” She argues back, and pushes herself away from him slowly. “Will you just admit you’re blaming me?” Kairi pleads, meeting his gaze once again with those fierce, heartbroken eyes.

“I’m not -” Riku tries, and it sounds like a lie even to his own ears. In front of him Kairi’s eyebrows knit in a vicious, pained scowl. She shoves him, a blow to his heart however ineffective the blow itself may have been. It takes half a second of shock before he registers that she’s storming away from him, up the boardwalk and to the last place she saw Sora.

“Kairi!” Riku pleads this time, running to catch up with her. He thinks to grab her by the wrist, but then thinks better of it - she’s dealt with enough people dragging her around like a doll. But thankfully she slows down to the sound of his footsteps, so he reaches out to rest a hand on her shoulder. They stand in silence for a few beats - Kairi sniffing, rubbing her hand across her face, Riku stumbling over his own thoughts to the tune of his rapid heart.

“I didn’t even try to talk him out of it.” He offers to Kairi’s back. “I was… so confident he could do it. I knew what he was planning, I knew the risks, but I just -” His voice breaks over the admission, composure finally failing him after days of grief drowned in busy work. “I let him go.”

Kairi wraps her arms around herself and turns toward him slowly - staring at the woodgrain beneath her shoes instead of allowing herself to see Riku cry.

“I’m blaming myself. I’m blaming all of us.” Riku says barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry, I just can’t look at you without seeing the empty air.”

Kairi is quiet, having seemingly traded her tears to Riku instead. Silence envelopes them again, broken only by the gulls and waves.

“When did we get so distant?” She asks finally, her hand reaching up to brush fingers with his. “You’re still here, but I’m missing you too.”

“I don’t know.” Riku answers honestly, and lifts his hand from her shoulder to twine their fingers together. Kairi mulls it over, teeth worrying her lower lip and eyes clouded in thought. She lands on something and laughs mirthlessly into their clutched palms.

“It’s stupid.” She sighs at his questioning glance. Riku frowns, and she relents. “He’s our own personal papou fruit, isn’t he?”

“Oh…” Riku says softly, and looks away. “Yeah, I guess he… is.”

Kairi sighs, her eyes dry for the first time since she’d returned.

“Then I guess… You’ll have to go get him back. So that we can have us back, too.” She says, and Riku meets her eyes again - determined and resigned all at once.

“I’ll bring him back for you.” Riku replies, clutching her hand tightly. Kairi shakes her head, and reaches up to cup his cheek.

“For us.” She corrects him. Riku draws in a shaky breath and nods.

“For us.” He agrees.

*

He drops Kairi off to welcoming arms in Twilight Town, and hopes she’ll be happy enough until they return for her. For a day, Riku pretends he doesn’t notice the distinct yellow shapes among his other perishable supplies. After two days of trying and failing to follow his heart, he sits on the floor of the gummi ship with the star shaped fruit in his hands. There are two of them - one bitten, one untouched. It would surely rot before he ever found Sora to fulfill its unspoken purpose.

He takes a bite of the one Kairi had meant for them; the taste is unpleasant, but he takes another bite just in case. It was stupid; a fairy tale for children and an emotion-laden dare for teens. But Kairi believed, and Sora believed - so Riku could believe too.

*

He returns a long year later, with Sora in his arms - weak, with scars on his heart, but bursting with love and light all the same. They avoid the fanfare, selfishly hoarding the knowledge of his rescue until they have gotten enough of him themselves. Riku holds Kairi and Sora both as tightly as they hold each other. They spend a day like that - just curled around each other in a cot on the ship, listening to the thrum of heartbeats to reassure themselves that everyone is there.

“Did you share it with him?” Kairi eventually asks over Sora’s sleeping frame; she’s watching his face, her fingers threading through his hair. Riku busies himself with the rise and fall of Sora’s chest and the solid weight of legs tangled with his own.

“No,” he replies lamely, “it didn’t keep.” Kairi hums sadly, and it prompts Riku to amend: “I took a bite, though. Of his, and ours.”

Kairi smiles, bright and warm.

“Well… maybe his heart took a bite.” She says, and after a blissful moment of sentimentality Riku breaks down into a delighted laugh. Kairi cracks a wide grin.

“That’s… the most Sora thing I’ve ever heard.” Riku tells her. It’s stupid, and sweet - and Sora would insist it was the truth if he wasn’t snoring in their arms.

“I’m glad you shared ours.” Kairi counters his humored dismissal with earnest love. “I knew you did; somehow, I knew I didn’t need to miss you anymore.”

Riku listens to her with quiet contemplation. He reaches over Sora to hold her hand. They could stay like this forever, if the worlds would let them.

“Yeah,” he says, “me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> tfw when you can't rewrite that shit so you just work with it
> 
> i've never proofread in my life and don't intend to now


End file.
